The Top 10 Reasons Why You Fail to Achieve Your Goals.
“You may have thought getting into vet school was hard, well I will tell you, getting through vet school will be even harder…..”
Picture of me with my little Lucy taken first year of vet school 2007. Made into a scrapbook page in 2017.
This statement from one of my faculty members at my first-year Stethoscope dinner at Purdue University was one that has stayed with me all these years. After working so hard in undergrad to get into vet school, I really didn’t have any idea of the amount of hard work, determination, and stick-to-itiveness that it would take to get through vet school. That first year was truly the hardest year of my life, and histology almost got the best of me. I thought I knew how to study, but in reality, in undergrad, I was able to create a schedule where I only had 2-3 hard classes. Now here I was with 18 credit semesters with almost every class as equally demanding in its attention.
That’s where my drive came in. I’ve always been a self-motivated person and have wanted to be successful at whatever it was that I put my mind to. I remember second semester, first-year studying for that Immunology final with one of my best vet school buds, Janet, and just writing things over and over again to make sure I had everything memorized. All those long hours sipping coffee at the Coffee House and drawing my flow charts as I learned about the coagulation cascade. And all those trips to the library, staring at the Bell Tower and dreaming of being anywhere else.
Those years were the hardest and most cherished years of my life. Although I would never want to relive that experience again, I am so glad I pushed through to complete my DVM.
When I look back at my twenties it’s crazy to think that the goal of becoming a veterinarian spanned almost a whole decade. Eight long years to accomplish. And yet I can start the simple goal of losing 10lbs over and over again and only sometimes accomplish it! It seriously can be done in 10 weeks. Or so I tell myself.
And that’s just it. When it comes to setting and achieving goals, how serious are you about it? Setting goals gives us something to strive towards, it aligns our focus with our behavior, and helps us build confidence.
Achieving goals actually builds character.
Do you find yourself dreaming and dreaming but failing to turn those dreams into a reality? Do you have a dream or goal you’ve been putting off for tomorrow and then that tomorrow never comes? Or do you even know how to create goals and turn them into action?
If it was going to be easy, we’d all be able to accomplish our dreams and goals, right?
Here are the top 10 reasons why people fail to achieve Their big dreams and goals:
1. You don’t know your purpose.
Your overall purpose is what helps give meaning to your life. It allows you to live with intentionality. Intentionality simply means going where we aim ourselves and living principle-based instead of demand-driven.
Many people start pursuing goals because it seems cool, puts you at a higher position, etc. but it doesn't feed your soul. Take time to evaluate your big dreams and goals to see if they align with your current purpose and values.
So many people get caught up with the concern of needing to have a “life’s purpose”. If you’re not ready to go that deep, don’t skip this step. Just ask yourself, “what is my current purpose” for the next 5 to 10 years. That’s what’s so great about life. You can always pivot and change direction whenever you want to.
Taking the time to align your goals with your purpose helps you develop the action steps needed to move that goal and big dream forward.
2. Your why isn’t strong enough.
Knowing your why is going to be one of the most important factors that keep you going when working to achieve your goals. Most goals you set are going to be medium/long-term goals. Big dreams take time! Wanting to lose weight so you look good for that beach vacation or wanting to get that promotion so you have a bigger paycheck for that vacation won’t propel you into action and set you up for long term success. You need a deeper and stronger WHY behind the reason for your big dream to keep you going when you feel like quitting. You need a constant reminder of the importance and significance of what your life will be like when you achieve this dream and what your life would be like if you didn’t achieve it.
Write out a list of reasons why. Sit on those for a week. And then determine the top 3 reasons. Write them down. Carry them in your wallet and tape them in your office or by your nightstand. Think of them often.
3. You’re not even sure where to begin and you don’t know how to create goals.
Believe it or not there are actually proven processes out there on how to achieve your goals. If you’ve never taken goal creation and accomplishment seriously it would be so easy to look into your past and think because you’ve failed before, you’ll fail again. DON’T fall into this trap.
One of the best methods out there to set and monitor goals is using the SMART method. S - specific, M - Measurable, A - Achievable, R - reasonable, T - time-oriented.
You have to get really serious about this big dream and think thoroughly about how to make it come true. Get out your notebook and start creating a SMART plan around a big goal and dream.
4. You’re overwhelmed.
The long term big dreams. They take time. 100s, 1000s of steps to achieve. It's so easy to get lost and not know where to start. Where to take action. Many times your big goal will require you to learn a new skill set. It’s so easy at the beginning of setting out on achieving your goal to take everything on at once and to become a Jack of all trades and a master at none. It’s important to remember to enjoy the process and the experience that comes from just making strides to achieving the goal. SLOW DOWN. Rome wasn’t built overnight. Break your goals down into sub-goals: 90 day, weekly, and daily actions that you can do that will get you closer to that end result.
5. You’re not committed.
How bad do you want it? What are you willing to sacrifice to achieve this big dream? Successful people have a focus and commitment toward their dreams and goals. That may mean staying in and studying instead of going out to that party. It may mean getting uncomfortable with having that difficult conversation because you know it will make your work situation better. It may mean not buying the latest fashions because you’re so close to paying off those student loans. Unsuccessful people make excuses and are able to live with mediocrity when they fail to reach their goals.
Ask yourself, what are you willing to give up to achieve your big dream and goal?
6. You don’t think you have enough time to go after your big dreams and goals.
So many people view time in scarcity mode. The reality is we all have the same 24 hours in a day. What makes successful people any more capable of achieving their dreams than you? Because they use time to work for them and not against them. It’s easy to keep busy and distracted and put off your goals for the future. Changing your mindset around time, setting boundaries, and learning to say NO to the stuff that isn’t moving you closer to your goal will be needed if you want to achieve the success you are looking for.
7. You have too many doubts and fears creeping up.
You’d love to achieve this big goal but currently, you just don’t believe in yourself enough. When this happens, you will never tap into your maximum potential. Like energy attracts like energy. Or you’re letting the beliefs of others hold you back from what you really want. All too often, you‘ll excitedly tell family, friends, co-workers about this big dream and goal and then let other responses affect your motivation. Don’t let the self-limiting belief of others hold you back. Take nothing personally. Their concerns are all about them, not you.
Accomplishing this dream won’t mean you won’t have fear, but you’ll need to learn how to work through it.
8. You fear success.
So many people have trouble accepting abundance into their life. Success means change. Remember those people above who were telling you how scary those big dreams or goals were? How will they react once you have the financial freedom, lost the weight, have the dream job, have the improved relationships? Will they still be there for you? Or could your fear of acceptance after your success be holding you back?
It could also mean more people depend on you now. More success means you’re most likely going to have a bigger impact on more people. Maybe you're afraid of that additional responsibility.
So often we end up self-sabotaging ourselves and we don’t even know we’re doing it. Stop playing small. Mediocre is good enough for most people. And that’s okay. But ask yourself, is it really okay for YOU? And if not, what inner blocks to you need to overcome to accept abundance in your life?
9. You don’t know how to handle failure and give up way too soon.
Your big dream wouldn’t be a big dream if there wasn't risk involved. With risk comes failure. The most successful people and the most innovating products took years and years and thousands of failures before success was reached. Failure is a part of the journey.
Fail a lot, fail fast!
Failure is your feedback and lessons to show you the right path to success.
That big dream of yours. It may take more than 5 years. It could take 10. Life is going to throw curveballs along the way. Most people give up way too soon when they start facing difficulties or setbacks. Are you willing to work through those setbacks and create better strategies?
10. You’re not going after your big goal from the mindset of the person you will become once it is achieved.
Right now those big dreams seem like a maybe. A someday. An if only.
The person you will become if you achieve that big dream and goal is a completely different person than the one sitting right here reading this. Close your eyes and visualize that future self of yours. Who is she? Who is he? What would your future self say to the current you about what you need to do to reach those goals?
Spend time every day visualizing your future self and practice telling your story from the perspective that the goal and big dream already came true.
What is your future self saying?
Success. Reaching that big dream or goal. It won’t come overnight.
It will take grit, determination, discipline, stick-to-itiveness, and probably lots of tears to accomplish. But it will also change your life and bring about more abundance than you may have ever realized.